Can I Do This? What Happens Now...?
So the initial crazy excitement of moving states to chase my dreams calmed down a little and real life kept on going... and then it hit me.
Cue crippling self doubt.
Who do you think you are? What makes you think this will work? You're leaving a nice little stable life behind on a whim. You're going to miss all your friends.
What if this doesn't work?
Thankfully I haven't had a whole lot of time to dwell on it as Short + Sweet has really taken up most of my mind space these past weeks, and performing is always a great escape from the real world. Check your problems at the door, the show must go on, and all that.
But in those quiet moments of an evening after the show is done for the night and I'm once again alone with my thoughts, I have to re-wire myself to focus back on the reason why I'm doing this, and how it could possibly change my life for the better. And it's not always easy to reframe your thinking on your own.
Thankfully, I have two very strong female role models (well, 3 if you include my mum!) I can look to in times like this:
My first role model, and a woman I have idolised since I first saw the 25th Anniversary production of The Phantom of the Opera, is Sierra Boggess. I can't count the number of times I've repeated her mantra to myself before doing something that terrified me.
The second, is none other than Australia's very own Anna O'Byrne. I had the absolute pleasure of seeing her perform recently alongside Ramin Karimloo (another favourite!) at the Star on the Gold Coast, and even more special was the early birthday gift from my dear friend David of getting to meet the two of them after the show.
I briefly explained to them I was moving to Melbourne to chase my dreams, and before we left for the evening, Anna took my hand and said two words:
It felt like a wave of renewed confidence washed over me. Two simple words, but golly they did the trick. Be. Fearless.
I am terribly frightened by the idea of leaving everyone I've known and loved for the past twenty-something years behind and risking it all. It's going to break my heart a little to say goodbye. But I know I can carry with me the wisdom of two incredible ladies who have gone before me, done all the things I want to do, and be reassured that I am making the right decision.
Go forth and be fearless, for you are enough!